We’re all aware of how feminized our culture has become. Men are disrespected at every turn. They are marginalized, mocked, and criticized. You see this in the media, movies, sitcoms, comedy sketches, and everyday conversations. They are constantly being accused of wronging women in one way or another, whether through their careers, income, family life, or even their interest in women. They have been told they are not only less intelligent because their brains and priorities differ from women, but also that they are wrong for being the way they are.
The more feminine they appear, the more accepted they are. That’s why the highly favored group—gay men—is the only group of males that seems able to escape broad criticism from women here in America. They are, in essence, pseudo-women. Generally, gay men talk more like women, act more like women, and care more about what women care about than the rest of the male population.
The men of the church have been highly affected by this decades-long campaign against them. It begins in childhood with cartoons and books portraying masculinity in a negative light and femininity in a positive one. This then gets reinforced in school and by society at large. By the time they are fully grown, they have been effectively browbeaten, coerced, and harassed to the point that they are tired, unsure of themselves, and totally indoctrinated.
Is it any wonder, then, that we find ambivalent, aimless, low-drive men in our congregations? Is it any wonder that the church searches for leaders and finds only a few?
Once upon a time, men were the strength and backbone of the church. Christ was a man (God in human flesh), and He built the church on Himself as the chief cornerstone, as well as on male apostles and prophets.[1] Like it or not, men have been the ones who have held up the church over the centuries. Women have also contributed much, and their place in the body of Christ is undisputed in both merit and worthiness. However, they serve entirely different roles and fulfill other essential needs.
Men have held positions of authority and wielded influence within the church, beginning with Christ’s declarations and commands for them and continuing ever since. They were told, and they believed that their masculinity was a gift from God to be used towards the sacrifice and service of His people. This was a noble challenge given to them. This gave them purpose, and their purpose served the women within the body of Christ and within their communities.
Do you remember in the Old Testament when the Jews intermarried with Canaanite women, adopting their pagan culture and practices so completely that they were led astray? Or when King Solomon married pagan women and ultimately turned from the living God? Here in America, we’ve done similar things. We have not taken our relationship with our society’s pagan culture very seriously. We’ve thought we could play with fire and come out unscathed. We’ve allowed ourselves and our children to drink society’s poisonous elixir about gender, leadership, priorities, ideologies, and so much more, and that poison has inflicted damage from the inside out. It has taught our men, and in so doing, it has changed them.
We must heal. We need strong men in the church. Not men who are physically strong. That has nothing to do with it. We need men who are mentally and emotionally strong. The church needs men who capitalize on their masculinity, allowing them to be courageous, laser-focused on the tasks at hand, decisive, calmly assertive, resilient, and sacrificial.
We need men willing to be leaders in their homes, leaders of their children, leaders in the church, leaders in difficult discussions with those around them, leaders toward the truth, leaders in doing what is right, leaders against societal pressures, leaders of Sunday school, and leaders of women. Many young, single Christian women are searching their congregations for young, single men who will demonstrate what it means to be a Christian man. They want to find someone who desires to sacrifice their time, energy, and pleasure as they pursue Christ. These women want to be inspired. They yearn to be led. They desire men to return to the way God designed them to be.
And it’s not just the single women out there looking for this. It’s women in general, both young and old, single and married, childless and with many children, who are talking about this behind closed doors. They are watching, waiting, and praying that you will rise up and take the lead.
This means that when you see a need in the church, you respond. When you see a challenge, you accept it. When your family needs you to make a sacrifice, you do so without complaint. When strife arises in the church, you quickly step in to calm tempers and bring reconciliation. That church board, you know, the one with the incredibly boring meetings? You volunteer to serve on it. Why? Because you can make small changes that benefit the entire congregation. You can help ensure the church stays on the right path.
There are hundreds of small, impactful ways only you can make a difference. But you can’t do anything if you believe society’s lies and spend your entire life just wasting away in front of your TV or phone. This world may want you to feel powerless and discouraged, but you are made in the image of God and placed on this earth to do His good work. You are strong in His mighty power.[2] So as you go forward to be the man God made you to be, remember what he has told you: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
[1] Ephesians 2:20
[2] Ephesians 6:10
