I used to beeline it out of church as fast as I could every Sunday. Not looking back. Trying not to make eye contact. Just getting out the door before some awkward conversation started that I couldn’t easily escape.
This technique, I thought, served me fairly well over the years. I got out minutes faster than other people and got straight to completing that long list of things I wanted to do that Sunday. Oftentimes, that long list included time-wasting activities, but nonetheless, those things were on my list.
Sundays were pretty much like Saturdays, except that church interrupted a chunk of it, and I had to squeeze that interruption down to as short a time as possible. No Bible study if I could help it. Just church. In. Out. Done.
This seems to be a common sentiment amongst people my age and younger.
We’re just too busy. We have better and more important things to do than socialize and study with people at church. So don’t tell us about the potlucks. Don’t try to get us to go to your dull meetings. Attending Bible study will be a hit or miss—but mostly miss. And don’t even THINK about grabbing us for conversation after church. We have places to go and people to see, and you just aren’t on the list.
I deeply regret that attitude now, as I’ve missed out on much because of it.
I thought the people at church were dull because I didn’t know them. People you don’t know, or barely talk to, can seem so one-dimensional, can’t they? We are so quick to judge by first impressions—by how people look, how old they are, their outfits, their mannerisms…. I thought these people had nothing to offer me, and I had nothing to offer them. I thought that there was no point in staying afterward. My “to-do” list was infinitely more important than time with them. I was arrogant, and my priorities were skewed. I didn’t know what awaited me because I hadn’t tried to experience it for any length of time.
Ignorant people don’t know the depths of what they’re ignorant about. That was me.
Over the last number of years, my husband began to experience what would turn into a major medical event. His spinal cord herniated out of his spinal column, and he began to become slowly paralyzed. As things worsened, I began to realize that I needed help. At the time, I was in a large city, far from my extended family. I had five kids. We were military, so the frequent moves meant I didn’t have lifelong friends around me.
People at the church were my only hope. And they came to my side. They rescued me. My family received countless meals, money, babysitting help, and two mini-vacations. But they offered me something so much more than those physical blessings: deep, abiding, REAL friendship. All of them offered me that. They offered me an actual family. God put me in a situation that forced me to learn who my real family was.
Who will be there when everything comes crashing down around you? Your church family. Who will make sure every week that you are doing okay, and sacrifice time, money, or energy for you if you are not? Your church family. The people you can learn from and grow in your faith with? Your church family.
The church contains the wise and aged, those who have been there and done that. The church is made up of people who have learned from their hard work, failures, and sins, and who can share lessons that benefit your life. It contains those new in their faith, and those seeking help. It contains families, widows, and people from all walks of life. These individuals are not perfect; they are sinners, and like all sinners, they can sometimes be annoying or difficult. They may also do hurtful things. But the church is a community of the broken—that’s simply how it is. I am one of those broken individuals: I am deeply flawed. Yet, within the church, I encounter a variety of sinners, and it is in this context that I also find hope and connection.
Over the last few years, I’ve learned something important about my “to do” list by staying after church. I have learned that I can still get the list done by simply changing my priorities. I prioritize getting weekend tasks done on Friday afternoon and Saturday. And my family and I have set aside Sunday for the Lord, according to the third commandment:
“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore, the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.”[1]
I’ve written more about this topic previously, but this commandment is very clear. The Lord went to great lengths to explain exactly what he meant by this commandment. If we think other commandments must not be wantonly broken, like stealing or killing or adultery, then we must not break the third commandment simply to accommodate our current lifestyle choices.
Setting aside a day for the Lord results in good things, as does following all His commandments. Suddenly, you have a day to look forward to, when you can lay down your obligations and responsibilities at the foot of the cross. You can consciously lay your burdens on Jesus’ back. You are free. You are at rest in Him.
And this means you DO have time to stay after church and socialize with the body of Christ. You do have time to attend the potluck and meetings to build up the church in all the right ways. You are not chained to the world’s demands as a slave is chained to a galley ship, to work and toil nonstop all the days of your life. And you are not independent. You do not have your own life, divorced from everyone else entirely. You are part of a living, breathing, working body. And you were bought at a price. So honor God. Allow yourself the time after church to get to know the saints who surround you week in and week out. Come to understand how beautifully joined we all are to one another and to Christ Himself.
These people who don’t look like much will actually build you up, just as you build them up. And before you know it, all those rubs and annoyances you were so well aware of that come with a community of sinners will be replaced with something else. Something you didn’t expect: the greatest joy, the most profound uplifting of spirit, and such earthly comfort as can only be found among those God has chosen: the body of believers.
[1] Exodus 20:8-11
