I am not writing about physical or socioeconomic differences here. I am speaking of personality differences.
The answer seems like a simple “yes,” but reality proves we don’t always practice what we preach as Christians. We may say we embrace people’s differences, and we may talk about us all being members of the body of Christ—each with a unique role—but when we encounter someone with a personality starkly unlike our own or outside society’s socially accepted norms, are we truly welcoming of that?
I’m not talking here about accepting viewpoints that don’t align with God’s Word or beliefs that contradict Scripture. That is something we cannot do. I’m referring to embracing the distinctive ways people approach problems, their communication styles, passions and interests, leadership methods, and sensitivities. Do we care about people when they show how dissimilar they are to ourselves? Do we find good within those personalities, or do we become immediately resentful, holding onto society’s expectations of conformity and likemindedness as the ultimate standard for our approval?
As parents, this topic matters a great deal. If we don’t move away from the mindset of sameness and consciously embrace our children’s differences, we will find ourselves more frustrated with them than is right. We will also unconsciously end up pressing our child into a mold they were not meant to conform to. This is not about disciplining children for sinful behaviors, which is something parents must do; this is about personality expressions that are not sinful or wrong. This is about raising children who are merely dissimilar to us–sometimes entirely so. A child might handle a problem differently from you, but that alone doesn’t make them wrong. Their way of handling people may be used to great good in the situations God has ordained to put them in as they grow older. A young person might be sensitive to tones or actions that you find inoffensive, but that doesn’t mean that their sensitivity is a problem you need to correct. That sensitivity can be an asset within the church and society at large as they grow older and a benefit to those around them in countless ways.
Your child isn’t supposed to be a reflection of your ideal personality traits; they are supposed to be an essential member of the church and one who fills a void that only they can fill. You may find, for example, that your son has a passion you cannot understand and a strong desire to delve into an area you personally find uninteresting or unimportant, but that doesn’t mean it is a misplaced passion or one you must correct. Your daughter might speak with a stronger and more passionate voice than other women you know, but that doesn’t make her somehow inappropriate or in need of change.
We are all unique; we’re meant to be different—not different according to the world, whose differences are only celebrated when they’re fake and extreme— but by being who God made us to be and by helping our children to embrace their own uniqueness and calling within the body of Christ.
